Concerning Awful Certainty and Locked Doors
2 days ago
– Wed, May 24, 2017 at 08:03:14 PM
Hello once again, my lovelies and welcome to update number lucky thirteen. Are you surprised to have made it this far? We know we are.
We cannot deny the passing of the hours. There is a dreaded realization within the steady ticking of the clock that serves as a constant reminder of the unyielding march of time. No matter who we are, where we dwell or what we attempt, we are all walking toward the grim finality that awaits us all in the end.
...and that end is the publication of our efforts! Yes, we have made some great strides in the recent days, including:
- Completion of the final artwork from Michael Tuck, whom we gratefully acknowledge as a true gentleman as he takes a well-deserved rest at the Murdstone Asylum for Nervous Behavior. From what we understand, he has been making excellent progress.
- Completion of the main text's editing by the World's Most Dangerous Editor, Bryan Whitlock. Mister Whitlock returned his recommended edits in a crimson-stained sack, stabbed to the front door with a large, carving implement. We're not sure at what point during the night it was delivered, but we've learned not to ask.
- Steady progress in the creation of both our Not Cursed At All Challenge Coin and sticker array.
- We are making preparations for overall page layout, and continue to finalize the text for our mini-RPG, Gruel Truck.
Of Heavy Chains and Firmaments
We are exactly one week away from the end of the month, in which all profiles shall be considered finalized and locked down. This includes whatever personalized information you have requested within your initial order. If you have not filled out your survey or are harboring second thoughts on whether it's safe to attach your Christian name to anything associated with this horrid endeavor, now is the time to make any changes. We will be sending final reminders to those of you who have still not completed your surveys via Professor Backerkit's marvelous contraption.
...and with that, we take our leave. In our next update, we will be sharing details regarding our schedule at GenCon and a few other items of note. Until then, as always, ta, darlings!
~The Monkeyfun Gang
Concerning Things Hidden and Within View
16 days ago
– Wed, May 10, 2017 at 09:43:12 PM
A fine hello to you, my lovelies -
There has been so much terrible progress on Bedlam Hall, we are simply beside ourselves with excitement and not just because we've taken to talking to our reflections in the mirror again. We're certain that is quite normal behavior. Especially when we hear voices talking back to us from behind the glass.
We would't want to seem rude, now would we?
Of Unsettling Designs
We have received the final proof copy of the Not Cursed At All Challenge Coin and we must say, it looks rather sharp. We consider ourselves pleased with our fortune in finding a jeweler's shop willing to melt down the original casting of the Bronze Scarab of Eh-Toh-Ta statue, because honestly, why let a death curse stand in the way of such beauty? Not that this was the case, of course. Nothing surrounding that theft is connected here whatsoever.
Of Progress Toward Consequences
In addition, we have also begun forwarding our initial draft to the World's Most Dangerous Editor, Bryan Whitlock, who has already begun sharpening his knives for the occasion. Our artist, Mr. Michael Tuck, is finishing up his final designs and all things move forward with uneasy speed.
Of Congregations Most Foul
We also would like to inform you all that our scheduled Bedlam Hall games at this year's GenCon have been approved and will be available for those in attendance. After fifty years of service, it's quite possible they given up all hope and will allow things to burn to a terrible conclusion. And what better to do that with, than with live demonstrations of both Bedlam Hall and Spirit of 77. If you catch us in a puckish mood, we may even do a game of Gruel Truck amongst you lucky few.
We will continue to keep you up to date on what is occurring at the Hall, both here and other locations. Trust us, we know you'll find the way.
~The Monkeyfun Gang
Concerning 28 Lost Souls and the Sinister Company We Keep
about 1 month ago
– Wed, Apr 26, 2017 at 08:34:12 PM
Hello again, my lovelies...
So many of you have been delightfully prompt in providing your survey information, allowing us ample time to send you such delights in the post - 94% of you as a matter of fact. To those of you who have taken the proper steps in completing this task, we offer our sincerest thanks in making our terrible existence a little easier in such a manner.
But 28 of you. Ohhhh you naughty, naughty 28. We see your puckish antics, waiting until the last moments to complete your survey. However, perhaps your e-mail invitation was lost amongst your other correspondence, which we choose to believe to be the situation. After all, we strive to see the good in all men's hearts even if we have to go through the entire rib cage to do so. It shan't come to that. We know you better.
We will be sending a reminder survey to those of you still outstanding, and in the event you do not receive it, you may always find the survey recovery page at https://bedlam-hall.backerkit.com/
Of Dangerous Men
For those of you who are familiar with our more lighthearted product about 1970's pop culture, Spirit of 77, you may be familiar with some of our recurring associates that we enlist in our efforts. One name in particular is of special concern for those of a gentle disposition - The World's Most Dangerous Editor, Bryan Whitlock. Mr. Whitlock has been our editor for quite some time, an expert in rather unsavory wordsmith details we best not describe for those you of a delicate nature. Best be said that Mr. Whitlock is considered a specialist in rather particular skills, one we have enlisted with great care and caution. Simply put, Mr. Whitlock will do things on behalf of the English language. Terrible things. We felt it best to forewarn you that Mr. Whitlock is about to be engaged with the Bedlam Hall draft, and once Mr. Whitlock has finished his grim work... well it's best not to dwell on the aftermath. Best to realize that there are nefarious forces at work to provide your entertainment and diversions. We do this because we care.
~The Monkeyfun Gang
Concerning Surveys and One Too Many Terrible Tales
about 1 month ago
– Wed, Apr 12, 2017 at 11:07:03 PM
Hello my lovelies -
We are proud to announce that Professor Backerkit’s illustrious crowdfunding device has begun to do its work, with a minimum of serious injury to those surrounding it. As such, backer surveys are currently on their way via electronic post to all, with the intention of gathering personal and intrusive information about you that will be in no way used against you at a later time. Hooray for science!
Many of you have already filled out the pertinent details, for which we thank you with knowing grins and a subtle head nod. However if you have not seen your backer survey in your inbox, we recommend checking your bulk mail folder just to be certain. It may have fallen amongst your missives about vitality supplements and requests from Nigerian princes. However, if you still have not received it, we will be sending out a second round of the surveys later this month to those who have not received it.
As another item regarding the good professor’s crowdfunding device, we noted a trend where people have accidentally pre-ordered additional electronic copies of the Terrible Tales in addition to what their backer level already entails. Never fear, we are reviewing our orders to make sure you get exactly what you deserve. Does that sound ominous? We didn’t mean it as such. Probably.
However, we have yet to close the surveys so you are still free to make changes within Backerkit if needed.
In addition to this probing and highly intimate questioning, we have also utilized the good professor’s additional storefront transmogrifier to enable pre-orders for those of you wish to expand upon your previous orders. This is also open to those who unfortunately missed out on our initial campaign and want to atone for their shameful tardiness through the use of cash and credit. Our love and forgiveness can be purchased at very reasonable rates so act now. - Visit the Pre-Order Store.
As always, we thank you all for your support and wish you nothing but delight.
Except for you, Sharon.
~The Monkeyfun Gang
Concerning Electrical Burns and Fulfillment Surveys
about 2 months ago
– Wed, Mar 29, 2017 at 09:16:37 PM
Dear Friends -
Once again, we thank you for sharing the terrible burden of Bedlam Hall with us, it is so comforting to know we won't be shouldering the blame alone.
We have spoken with Professor Backerkit regarding the execution of his crowdfunding device and he has recommended a few precautions to be considered prior to turning on power to the contraption. Although we will be bearing the brunt of possible electrocution and other maladies, there are certain items you should be aware of in regards to the process:
Those rapscallions at Kickstarter will first need to transfer over the funds, in order to produce these terrible items (this can take up to a fortnight, or two weeks for those of you that don't believe in "fortnights").
Second, there are certain questions that will need to be addressed, including where your items should be shipped. Professor Backerkit's device will send an electronic survey to collect this information, which we assure you will not be used against you whatsoever. Rest assured, we will give you proper warning before it is sent, in careful respect of those you who are easily startled by too many personal questions. You will not need to create a Backerkit account to answer your survey, mind you. The invitation email will contain a link to your personal survey.
It is important to submit your responses as quickly as humanly (or inhumanly) possible in order to process your rewards.
If you need to change your survey responses, add or remove add-ons, or update your shipping information, you can click on the link in your survey email again or request your survey link under "Lost your survey?" on our Backerkit project page. (This page will only start working after we send the surveys out.)
For those of youwho question whether the smoke and heavy fumes generated by the good professor's contraption is safe for your delicate condition, you can also message us to provide the information, but answering your survey will help us get your rewards to you more expeditiously.
If you used Facebook to log into your Kickstarter account, the Backerkit survey link will be sent to the email you used for that account. Feel free to verify the e-mail address, among your interesting cat photographs and shouted opinions about political events next time you visit there.
If you have another email address that you'd prefer to use however, please message us. We're more than happy to make this as painless a process as possible, however once you have received the items... we're no longer responsible for the pain or sadness they may inflict. One must draw the line somewhere.
Again, thank you for never speaking about where we hid the... our apologies, wrong correspondence. Thank you again for your support.
~The Monkeyfun Gang