Concerning Triskaidekaphobia and Cursed Coins
7 months ago
– Sun, Feb 26, 2017 at 07:53:44 PM
You probably don't know the word, but know the condition - Triskaidekaphobia is a mental condition, meaning "a fear of the number thirteen". Normally, it is deemed irrational, a superstitious holdover from a less sensible and uneducated time in our society.
And yet... Is there a better term to describe that unsettling dread that has been filling our hearts and minds as we slowly crept toward the $13K mark? An uneasiness scratching in the back of our minds, an invisible cut along the inside of our mouths that continually reminds us of its presence. No matter how we try to avoid it, we know it's there... waiting for us.
And now it has happened. The second Terrible Tale has been unlocked, despite all good intentions and hopes on our collective part. We have no one to blame but ourselves really. We are still deciding whether we will be sharing The Terrible Tale of Pride and Prescience (an unpleasant yarn about spiritualists and unfortunate secrets) or The Terrible Tale of the Continuation of Horrible Events (a discomforting diversion about orphans with the worst luck in the world). We welcome your input in this matter.
An Update On Our Artist's Unsettling Condition
After a lengthy and uncomfortable silence, we simply had to involve the authorities in checking on our artist's condition considering our last communication ended with strange gurgling and incoherent whispers. When they arrived, he had apparently locked himself in the basement and refused to come out until "the bad thing was out of his skull". We're not quite sure what that means either. However, he did slip the following character roughs under the door which would indicate he's continuing to make a form of progress. We think.
Regarding the Supposed Curse on Our Challenge Coins
We've received a few rather pointed questions about the $16,000 stretch goal of a commemorative challenge coin, so we would like to set the record straight so there's no more speculation or false information floating about. Challenge coins are historically shared among military units and organizations as a commemoration of special achievement and fellowship among its members. However we need to clarify the following:
- There is no truth whatsoever to the accusation that the minting of these coins are in any way associated with the stolen "Bronze Scarab of Eh-Toh-Ta" statue, pilfered from the National Museum in London in 1856 by any member of the real Blackwood family. The Blackwood family did 100% comply with all questions from the authorities at the time and were not considered more than "temporary persons of interest".
- Further, this Scarab statue was not found by the author of this work as part of his research into the historical background of the real Bethlehem Hall and Blackwood family. Nor was any supposed "curse" transferred to the author as part of that discovery.
- This statue has not been melted down into these coins to hopefully break the curse or at least transfer this so-called "curse" to unsuspecting backers.
- And finally, these coins do not share the same qualities as this so-called "cursed statue", and do not scream in any ancient or modern languages in the dead of night.
These are all simply not true. Trust us. You'll be fine. Or at least, you'll get used to it.
~The Monkeyfun Gang
Concerning Unpleasant Phone Calls and Future Hatwear...
7 months ago
– Mon, Feb 20, 2017 at 04:16:18 PM
"Hello, this is Michael."
"Hello, this is Monkeyfun Studios calling. We have some unfortunate news we need to share, regarding the artwork we requested you provide us for the Bedlam Hall project."
(excited) "Oh, it's no problem! Projects often don't fund on Kickstarter, I'd be happy to burn my initial sketches for the good of..."
"No, Michael. I'm afraid we will be funded. And we have reached the Additional Artwork goal."
(long pause) "But....But..."
"There's no escaping this, Michael. The imagery must continue."
"You realize I can't sleep with these things looking at me? I'm breaking out in sweats just thinking about this. Are you sure we just can't..."
"Michael, I'm very, very sorry about this. But the illustrations must continue. It's best to consider this as a cleansing effort, something that we can later consider a therapeutic experience that... my heavens, are you alright?"
"Just, just give me a moment."
I'm not sure what more should be said. But we have indeed reached the goal of additional artwork for Bedlam Hall's publication. It is a terrible world we live in these days, but we must soldier forward the best we can. Our next portent is the second of our Terrible Tales to be made available. At the most recent game convention we attended, we shared two of these wretched experiences with our fellow man. In the first, everyone died. In the second, shooting started. We're not quite sure which will be more appropriate for further dissemination so if this goal is reached we will allow you, our gentle audience, the opportunity to help with that decision.
Regarding Paper Hats and Orcs
Speaking of this recent gaming excursion, we also had the opportunity to test and share one of our endeavors in the near future, one that is currently a Stretch Goal for this horrible experience - Gruel Truck! Despite all efforts and expectations, this particular game was unfortunately quite the success. (Now we'll never get our game creator to focus on more productive matters.) As that we are halfway toward this goal in our campaign, we have been instructed to provide you a suitable warning about this endeavor in order to release us from liability. The particulars of this amusing diversion can be found on our website, as well as some rather spiffy photographs that demonstrate the jocularity to be had in its execution.
For those of you opting to receive Physical Stretch Goals within the Continually Disturbing level, this particular game will be provided in a printed format, along with actual Gruel Truck paper hats for your pleasure. In the event of selecting the Digitally Dismal level, this will be provided in electronic format.
Now if you'll excuse we need to further console our illustrator. Ta, darling!
~The Monkeyfun Gang
"Tempus Fugit" - Concerning How Quickly Time Passes...
7 months ago
– Thu, Feb 16, 2017 at 09:31:57 PM
Amazing how a single day can change things. Because of the recent and sudden activity on our Dearly Departed reward, our limited availability has caused a closure of both the Doomed, Doomed, Doomed and Dearly Departed Duo offerings. We do sincerely apologize to those of you who were still vexed with the decision, but time is indeed quite fleeting.
However, we do have one remaining open seat for the Dearly Departed experience, which allows one lucky soul the opportunity to participate, if so inclined. It would be such the terrible cliche to suggest people were just "dying" to be involved, so let us just recommend you consider it as an option if the spirit or spirits moves you.
Oh yes. We went there instead.
~The Monkeyfun Gang
Concerning Haunting Imagery and the Need for Supervision...
7 months ago
– Thu, Feb 16, 2017 at 03:25:15 PM
It continues like a bad dream from which you just cannot awaken, no matter your degree of discomfort and dread. We have reached the first goal, and now the Terrible Tale of the Unsettling Tradition has become available to our backers. Now we stumble forward like a drunken sailor stabbed in the back toward our next milestone.
We would like to introduce you to Mr. Michael Tuck, the progenitor of our unsettling interior artwork. Mr. Tuck is an independent illustrator from Toronto, we had hoped that his participation in this endeavor would provide a more festive and lighthearted appearance to the occasion. Instead, it has consumed him in a terrible artistic frenzy. When we speak to Mr. Tuck to inquire about his progress, his uncontrollable wailing and tearful whimpering only troubles us further about the final outcome. For God’s sake, are we going to drive the poor man to ruin and possible incarceration by tasking him additional imagery that plagues his gentle thoughts? Certainly we’re not that cruel, are we?!?!?
On other matters, we are making a slight modification to one of our offerings - it has been suggested that it is ill advised to invite individuals to partake in the dangerous pursuits of mystical cosmology with adequate supervision. Thus, we will be opening a second tier to the Dearly Departed offering that allows an additional participant at a reduced rate. Because of limited seating, this tier will affect the availability of the normal Dearly Departed level so please keep this in mind.
We close this update by sharing the final words of our uncle Bernard, spoken to our Aunt Bedelia prior to leaving this mortal realm… “I doubt that’s loaded.”Ta, darlings!
The Monkeyfun Gang
Concerning Our Terrible Choices Coming to Fruition...
7 months ago
– Wed, Feb 15, 2017 at 08:06:59 PM
Merciful heavens. What have we done.
This entire escapade was a mirthful diversion when it was still being considered a playful exercise based on passing fancy and hubris, not unlike accepting a dare to enter a haunted house. At midnight. Alone. Without shoes.
We all should have reconsidered. Let our better discretions dictate our action. Because now... oh now, there's no turning back. We've opened the door. We've stepped inside. And now Bedlam Hall has funded.
We would like to thank you of course. Gratitude is customary at these sort of milestones. But looking at the terrible implications of all our actions, a sense of terrible dread has filled our hearts. We've encouraged you to join us in this horrible effort. We feel slight pangs of guilt in our actions. We didn't want to be alone. But now, we realize we've condemned you to the same dark terrible fate. We're now responsible for your participation in a dark and dreadful endeavor.
Sorry. Our bad.
But let us keep walking forward, perhaps if we keep a quick pace and eyes steady we won't be distracted by what we might see in the darkness. Let us focus together on the first stretch goal - The Terrible Tale of An Unsettling Tradition. This particular tale was first told at the Los Angeles game convention known as Strategicon, let us take a look at those happy participants -
In any event, we at least have each other in this dreadful pursuit. We have 28 days to endure this dark path we walk. Best we venture forward together, comforted by our mutual participation and camraderie in knowing we do this in unison. And we are grateful you accompany us.
Still, we wish we had our shoes.
The Monkeyfun Gang